What is Kalechup?
Kalechup is the all purpose, flavorful, savory (and super healthy) alternative to fatty, sugary, salty condiments like ketchup and mayonnaise that tastes great on everything.
What can I put Kalechup on?
Kalechup makes everything taste better. It was created to be a condiment, so it is happiest when it is augmenting and enhancing the flavors of others. Try it on an egg sandwich, or with hot dogs, grilled sausages, steak, burgers, french fries, grilled cheese, roast chicken, fish or tofu. You can even put it on your favorite kale dishes for a little kale on kale action, if you are into that sort of thing.
Seriously, Kalechup makes EVERTHING taste better?
Ok, so we got caught up in the marketing hype. No, it is nasty on ice cream. And pastries. And probably gummy bears.
What else can I do with Kalechup?
Hmmm, besides being a condiment? Well, you can mix it with yogurt for an awesome dipping sauce. Or whisk it with some olive oil for a grilling sauce, or add mustard to the olive oil and you have a savory salad dressing. You can dehydrate it, grind it up and sprinkle it on popcorn. Kalechup also makes an excellent dirty martini, just add gin (or vodka if ya gotta).
How much kale is in Kalechup?
Almost half a pound in every 12 ounce bottle.
What else is in Kalechup?
Besides kale, there's (in order of prominence) apple juice (not from concentrate), cider and white vinegar, onions, water, garlic, Jalapeño peppers, lemon, kosher salt, spices and agar.
Hold on there a second, you trying to sneak something past me? What the heck is agar?
Relax. It is a dried seaweed powder that when it is reconstituted then cooled helps hold together solids. So Kalechup pours nice and smooth-like. The reason no one had ever made a kale condiment before us? Kale may be a super food, but is also super fibrous. We cook the heck out of it, then grind the hell out of it to get it nice and creamy. And we add the agar at the very end, so that when it cools it does the job a good, thick condiment should do.
How good for you is Kalechup?
Take a look:
Is Kalechup gluten free, vegan, paleo, kito, whole30, etc.?
Sure, why not. And whatever other new diet fad that comes along that is low or no sugar, fat, carb, sodium, preservatives, whatever.
How is Kalechup fat free and saturated fat free?
How does Kalechup have no added sugar?
We use not-from-concentrate apple juice to to naturally sweeten Kalechup.
Is Kalechup organic?
Dude. No, not entirely. Some ingredients are but it varies batch to batch based on availability. Would we like to be 100% organic? Sure, and when we are able to crank out enough volume we can buy organic ingredients in super large quantities, then sure, we will do it. So buy some today and help us get there.
Sheesh, touchy much? Ok, so is Kalechup at least "natural"?
Hmmm, well, the FDA does not "object" to the use of the term if the product does not contain added color, artificial flavors, or synthetic substances. None of which we add to Kalechup intentionally. So, sure.
Kalechup is patented?
No, it is patent pending. That means if you try and make your own version and bring it to market we will eventually be able to sue the crap out of you. So please don't, we hate wasting money on lawyers. If you want to license Kalechup and make your own version, just talk to us. We are reasonable people.
What's up with the caterpillar?
No, there is no added caterpillar in Kalechup. At least not on purpose ;)
The caterpillar is Karl. He loooooves kale. And he used to spend all day chewing and chewing and chewing kale, rarely if ever satisfied (link to Kalechup TV ad illustrating this). Then he discovered Kalechup, and now he can chug kale goodness whenever he feels like it. He loves Kalechup so much, he offered to be our spokesperson. Of course we accepted. And BTW, the internet rumors are totally false, Karl has NOT undergone surgery or is taking medication to avoid transforming into a cabbage moth. Fake news!